A review from someone who thought play was just fun—and discovered it’s actually how children build their minds, hearts, and futures
You want your child to succeed.
So you enroll them in activities. Academic enrichment. Sports leagues. Music lessons. Language classes. You fill their schedule with experiences designed to develop skills, build knowledge, and prepare them for the competitive world ahead.
And when there’s a gap in the schedule? You feel vaguely guilty. Shouldn’t they be doing something? Learning something? Developing some skill?
Meanwhile, your child asks to “just play.” To mess around in the backyard. To build something with blocks. To pretend. To do nothing in particular with no goal in sight.
And you think: That’s nice, but is it productive? Are they learning anything? Shouldn’t they be doing something more… educational?
Here’s what decades of research reveals: play IS the most educational thing they could be doing.
Not educational apps. Not enrichment programs. Not structured activities designed by adults to produce specific outcomes. Play—real, free, child-directed play—is how children develop the cognitive, social, emotional, and creative capacities they need to thrive.
And we’re taking it away from them.
Dr. David Elkind’s The Power of Play: Learning What Comes Naturally makes an urgent case for reclaiming play as the foundation of healthy childhood development. From the author of The Hurried Child, this book explains why play matters, what we lose when we eliminate it, and how to bring it back.
It’s the book that defends what children already know: play is serious business. Let’s find out why.
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What Is This Book? 🤔
The Power of Play presents David Elkind’s comprehensive argument for the irreplaceable importance of play in child development. Drawing on developmental psychology, neuroscience, and decades of research, Elkind explains what play is, why it matters, and how modern life is systematically eliminating it from childhood.
The format:
- Theoretical foundation for understanding play
- Exploration of different types of play
- Developmental analysis across childhood stages
- Examination of threats to play
- Critique of “educational” substitutes for play
- Practical guidance for protecting and encouraging play
- Discussion of play across different contexts (home, school, technology)
The core thesis:
Play is not a luxury. It’s not a reward for finishing “real” work. It’s not something to squeeze in after academics, activities, and enrichment. Play is the primary mechanism through which children develop—cognitively, socially, emotionally, and physically.
When we replace play with structured activities—even well-intentioned “educational” ones—we don’t enhance development. We impair it. We substitute adult-designed experiences for the child-directed exploration that actually builds capable humans.
The coverage:
- What play actually is (and isn’t)
- The developmental functions of different play types
- How play builds cognitive capacities
- Play and social-emotional development
- The role of imagination and fantasy
- Threats to play in modern childhood
- The myth of “educational” toys and media
- Play at different developmental stages
- Protecting play in homes and schools
- The parent’s role in supporting play
The key principles:
- Play is the work of childhood—it’s how development happens
- Child-directed play is fundamentally different from adult-directed activities
- Play cannot be replaced by “educational” substitutes
- Different types of play serve different developmental functions
- The decline of play has measurable negative consequences
- Protecting play requires intentional action against cultural pressures
It’s the scientific case for letting children be children. 📖
The Good Stuff ✅
The Definition of Play Is Clarifying
Understanding what play actually is:
The confusion:
We use “play” loosely—playing a sport, playing a video game, playing an instrument, playing at the playground. But not all these activities are play in the developmental sense.
Elkind’s definition:
True play has specific characteristics:
Child-directed:
The child chooses what to do, how to do it, and when to stop. Adults aren’t determining the activity, the rules, or the outcomes.
Intrinsically motivated:
The child plays because they want to, not for external rewards or adult approval. The play itself is the reward.
Process-oriented:
There’s no required outcome or product. The experience of playing matters, not what it produces.
Non-literal:
Play often involves imagination, pretense, and treating things as if they were something else.
Free from external rules:
While play may have rules, they’re created by the players and can be changed by them.
The distinction:
Organized sports, music lessons, and educational activities may be valuable—but they’re not play in this sense. They’re adult-structured, outcome-focused, and externally motivated.
The implication:
When we eliminate free play and substitute structured activities, we haven’t just changed the format of childhood. We’ve removed something developmentally essential.
Clear definition of true play. 🎯
The Cognitive Benefits Are Extensive
Play builds thinking:
The misconception:
We think academics build cognitive skills and play is just recreation. The research shows the opposite is often true.
What play builds:
Executive function:
Self-regulation, impulse control, working memory, cognitive flexibility—the capacities that predict success—develop through play. Children practicing taking turns, following self-created rules, and managing their impulses are building executive function more effectively than through worksheets.
Problem-solving:
Play constantly presents problems to solve. How do I build this tower taller? How do we decide who goes first? How do I pretend this stick is a sword? Every play session is a problem-solving workshop.
Creativity:
Imaginative play exercises the capacity to think beyond what exists, to envision alternatives, to create something new. This is the foundation of innovation and adaptability.
Abstract thinking:
When a child pretends a banana is a phone, they’re practicing symbolic thinking—the same cognitive capacity that allows letters to represent sounds and numbers to represent quantities.
Language development:
Play, especially pretend play with others, demands communication. Children negotiate roles, explain actions, and narrate stories—building language more effectively than flashcards.
The research:
Studies consistently show that children who play more have better executive function, more creativity, and stronger problem-solving skills than those who spend that time on academic instruction—even for academic outcomes.
The irony:
In trying to build cognitive skills through academics, we often undermine them by eliminating the play that actually develops them.
Cognitive benefits extensively documented. ✨
The Social-Emotional Development Connection
Play builds people skills:
The laboratory:
Play is where children learn to be social beings. It’s the laboratory for practicing every social skill they’ll need.
What play builds:
Emotional regulation:
Play involves intense emotions—excitement, frustration, disappointment, joy. Children learn to manage these emotions in play before they can manage them in “real” situations.
Empathy and perspective-taking:
Pretend play requires understanding that others have different perspectives. When you play house, you have to understand what a mommy or daddy or baby would think and feel.
Negotiation and compromise:
Play with others constantly requires negotiation. Who gets which role? What are the rules? What happens when there’s disagreement? Children learn conflict resolution through practice.
Cooperation:
Building something together, creating a pretend scenario together, playing a game together—all require coordination, communication, and working toward shared goals.
Leadership and followership:
Play gives children practice both leading and following. They learn when to assert and when to yield.
The sandbox as social skills workshop:
More social learning happens in an hour of free play with other children than in a week of social skills instruction.
The risk of play deprivation:
Children who don’t play enough often struggle socially. They haven’t had the practice everyone else has had.
Social-emotional development through play. 💪
The Types of Play Analysis
Different play, different development:
The insight:
Not all play is the same. Different types of play serve different developmental functions.
Elkind’s categories:
Mastery play:
Repetitive practice that builds skills. A child stacking blocks over and over. Throwing a ball repeatedly. This builds competence and persistence.
Innovative play:
Creative, imaginative play that goes beyond what exists. Building something new, creating a pretend world, using objects in novel ways. This builds creativity and flexibility.
Kinship play:
Social play with others. Games, pretend play with friends, cooperative activities. This builds social skills and relationship capacity.
The progression:
Different types of play emerge and predominate at different developmental stages. Each serves stage-appropriate developmental needs.
The balance:
Children need all types of play. Over-emphasis on one type (like competitive sports) at the expense of others creates gaps.
The application:
Understanding play types helps parents recognize and support the full range of play their children need.
Types of play illuminated. 🌟
The Critique of “Educational” Toys and Media
The substitutes that don’t work:
The marketing:
Products are sold as “educational”—apps that teach, toys that build skills, programs that give children a head start. Parents buy them to replace “unproductive” play with something that develops their children.
The reality:
Most “educational” products don’t deliver what they promise. And even when they teach something, they don’t develop children the way play does.
The problems:
Passive vs. active:
“Educational” media often makes children passive recipients. Play makes them active creators. Development requires active engagement.
Adult-designed vs. child-directed:
Educational products follow adult scripts. Play follows the child’s own developmental agenda—which the child, not the adult, knows best.
Narrow vs. integrated:
Educational products target specific skills in isolation. Play integrates cognitive, social, emotional, and physical development simultaneously.
Extrinsic vs. intrinsic motivation:
Educational products often use rewards, points, and praise to motivate. Play is intrinsically motivating. Intrinsic motivation builds better learners.
The research:
Studies consistently show that children learn better through play than through “educational” products—even for the specific skills those products claim to teach.
The baby media myth:
Despite marketing claims, “educational” videos for babies don’t enhance development. Some research suggests they may impair it.
“Educational” substitutes critiqued. 🛡️
The Developmental Stages of Play
Play changes as children grow:
The progression:
Play isn’t static. It evolves as children develop, with different types predominating at different ages.
Infancy (0-2):
- Sensorimotor play: exploring objects, cause and effect
- Early social play: peek-a-boo, imitation games
- Physical play: movement, climbing, exploring bodies
Early childhood (2-6):
- Symbolic/pretend play at its peak
- Parallel play evolving into cooperative play
- Construction play: building, creating
- Physical play: running, climbing, rough-and-tumble
Middle childhood (6-12):
- Rule-based games
- More complex pretend play and world-building
- Skill-building play
- Increased social play and games
Adolescence (12+):
- Play becomes more subtle and integrated
- Creative pursuits, sports, social activities
- Play as identity exploration
The key insight:
Each stage has its own play needs. Hurrying children into age-inappropriate play (or out of age-appropriate play) disrupts development.
The protection:
Let children play at their developmental level, even if it seems “babyish” or “unproductive” by adult standards.
Developmental progression explained. 📝
The School Problem
Where play goes to die:
The crisis:
Schools have systematically eliminated play. Recess has been cut. Kindergarten has become academic. Preschool focuses on “school readiness.” Play is treated as a reward for finishing “real” work—or eliminated entirely.
The assumption:
More academic instruction means better academic outcomes. Play is wasted time that could be spent learning.
The research:
The opposite is true. Children who have more recess perform better academically. Children in play-based preschools outperform those in academic preschools—even on academic measures. Countries that start formal academics later (with more play earlier) have better educational outcomes.
The mechanism:
Play builds the cognitive capacities (attention, self-regulation, problem-solving) that academic learning requires. Without play, children don’t develop the foundation that makes academics possible.
The tragedy:
We’re cutting play to improve academics, and in doing so, we’re undermining academic capacity. We’re solving the wrong problem with exactly the wrong solution.
The advocacy:
Elkind argues strongly for protecting play in schools—more recess, play-based early childhood, and recognition that play IS learning.
School problem examined. 🧠
The Parent’s Role
How to protect and encourage play:
The provision:
Parents can provide what play requires:
Time:
Unscheduled time is essential. If every moment is filled with activities, play can’t happen. Protect open time in your child’s schedule.
Space:
Children need space to play—indoor and outdoor. It doesn’t need to be fancy. It needs to be available and safe enough for freedom.
Materials:
Simple, open-ended materials trump expensive, single-purpose toys. Blocks, art supplies, dress-up clothes, outdoor space, and objects that can become anything.
Permission:
Children need to know that play is valued, not merely tolerated. Your attitude toward play shapes theirs.
Freedom:
Play requires freedom from adult direction. Step back. Let them lead. Resist the urge to improve, direct, or structure their play.
The presence:
Sometimes play needs an adult present (for safety or as a play partner). But present doesn’t mean directing. Be available without being in charge.
The protection:
Protect play from the forces that would eliminate it—overscheduling, excessive screen time, academic pressure, your own anxiety about productivity.
The modeling:
Let children see you play. Adults who are playful raise children who value play.
Parent’s role clearly defined. 💬
The Not-So-Good Stuff 😬
Dated in Some Respects
Showing its age:
The issue:
Published in 2007, the book predates the smartphone era, social media, and the current screen saturation of childhood.
The gap:
While Elkind discusses television and video games, he couldn’t address:
- Smartphones and tablets
- Social media
- YouTube and streaming
- Gaming as it exists today
- The pandemic’s effects on play
The translation:
Readers need to apply Elkind’s principles to contemporary technology contexts that didn’t exist when he wrote.
The core:
The fundamental argument for play remains sound. But specific guidance on navigating current technology is missing.
The need:
A thoroughly updated edition addressing contemporary screens and their effects on play would be valuable.
Dated technology discussion. 😬
Can Feel Repetitive
The same points, restated:
The structure:
Elkind’s core arguments are repeated throughout the book. The importance of play, the problems with substitutes, the developmental necessity—these themes recur chapter after chapter.
The effect:
Readers who grasp the argument quickly may find the repetition tedious.
The reason:
Elkind clearly wants to drive his points home. The repetition serves emphasis.
The preference:
Some readers appreciate reinforcement; others want more efficient presentation.
The solution:
Skim sections that repeat points you’ve already absorbed.
Repetitive content. 😬
Limited Practical Guidance
More philosophy than how-to:
The ratio:
The book is stronger on WHY play matters than on HOW to foster it day-to-day.
The desire:
Many parents want specific activities, schedules, and strategies. The book provides more framework than recipes.
The gap:
Questions like “What exactly should I do differently Monday morning?” aren’t fully answered.
The philosophy:
Elkind might argue that providing specific “play activities” would undermine the point—play is child-directed, not adult-prescribed.
The supplement:
Parents wanting practical guidance may need additional resources.
Limited practical guidance. 😬
Academic Tone
Not always accessible:
The style:
Elkind writes as an academic. The book can feel dense and theoretical at times.
The effect:
Readers wanting light, engaging reading may struggle.
The vocabulary:
Terms like “sensorimotor,” “symbolic representation,” and “sociodramatic play” are used without always being fully explained.
The preference:
More academically-inclined readers will appreciate the rigor. Others may find it dry.
The complement:
More accessible books on similar themes might serve some readers better.
Academic tone throughout. 🚩
The Balance Question
How much structure is okay?
The gap:
Elkind strongly advocates for free play over structured activities. But how much structure is acceptable?
The questions:
- Can children have some organized activities AND enough free play?
- How do you know if the balance is right?
- What about children who genuinely love their structured activities?
- Is there a formula for play time vs. activity time?
The nuance:
The book could better help parents calibrate rather than suggesting structured activities are uniformly problematic.
The fear:
Some readers may overcorrect, eliminating all structure when some might be beneficial.
Balance calibration lacking. 😬
Structural Barriers Underaddressed
Not everyone can opt out:
The reality:
Some barriers to play are structural:
- Unsafe neighborhoods
- No outdoor space
- Parents working multiple jobs
- Schools that have eliminated recess
- Childcare situations with no play time
The gap:
The book doesn’t adequately address how to protect play within real constraints.
The privilege:
Access to safe play space, time to supervise outdoor play, and ability to choose play-based schools are privileges not everyone has.
The frustration:
Parents facing structural barriers may feel the advice is inaccessible.
Structural barriers underaddressed. 😬
Partner and School Alignment
When others don’t agree:
The challenge:
Protecting play requires agreement from co-parents, schools, and other caregivers.
The gap:
Limited guidance on navigating disagreement.
The questions:
- What if your partner thinks play is “wasting time”?
- What if school has eliminated recess?
- What if childcare is academically focused?
- What if grandparents push structured activities?
The missing:
Strategies for advocating for play when you’re not the only decision-maker.
Alignment challenges underaddressed. 📉
Doesn’t Address Special Circumstances
One-size-fits-all:
The gap:
The book discusses typical development without much attention to special circumstances.
The questions:
- How does play work for children with disabilities?
- What about children with autism who may play differently?
- How do you balance play with necessary therapies?
- What about children who’ve experienced trauma?
The missing:
Nuanced guidance for families with children who have special needs.
The assumption:
The book assumes typical development throughout.
Special circumstances not addressed. 📉
Who Is This For? 🎯
Perfect if you:
- Sense that your child’s schedule is too full
- Wonder whether all those activities are actually helping
- Want to understand WHY play matters, not just that it does
- Appreciate developmental psychology and research
- Are making decisions about early childhood education
- Feel guilty about “unproductive” play time
- Want a philosophical framework for protecting childhood
- Need ammunition to resist overscheduling pressure
Not ideal if you:
- Want practical activity ideas and schedules
- Need contemporary guidance on screens and technology
- Have children with special needs requiring specific guidance
- Prefer light, accessible writing
- Are looking for balanced consideration of structured activities
- Face structural barriers you can’t change
- Want quick tips rather than comprehensive argument
Alternatives Worth Considering 🔄
The Hurried Child by David Elkind: Elkind’s earlier book on rushing children. Essential companion—addresses hurrying more broadly, while this book focuses specifically on play. 🏆
Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne: Practical guide to simplifying childhood. More actionable than Elkind, addresses similar concerns.
Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv: Focuses on nature play and outdoor experience. Complementary perspective on what children are missing.
Free to Learn by Peter Gray: Deep exploration of play’s role in development and education. More contemporary, very research-based.
Einstein Never Used Flashcards by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek and Roberta Michnick Golinkoff: Research-based argument for learning through play. Accessible and practical.
Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen: Focuses on parent-child play for connection and healing. More practical and relationship-focused.
The Self-Driven Child by William Stixrud and Ned Johnson: Addresses autonomy and intrinsic motivation. Contemporary complement to Elkind’s concerns.
Let Grow by Lenore Skenazy: Practical movement for giving children more freedom. Implementation-focused. 📚
The Final Verdict 🏅
The Power of Play offers something essential: a robust, research-grounded argument for why play isn’t optional. In a culture that treats play as frivolous and academics as serious, Elkind insists—with evidence—that we have it exactly backwards.
The definition of true play (child-directed, intrinsically motivated, process-oriented) clarifies what we’re actually trying to protect. The exploration of cognitive, social, and emotional benefits demonstrates that play isn’t just pleasant—it’s developmentally essential. The critique of “educational” substitutes reveals that our attempts to improve on play usually fail. And the analysis of play’s decline sounds an alarm that every parent needs to hear.
For parents who sense that something is wrong—that their children are overscheduled, overstimulated, and underlaid—this book provides validation, understanding, and framework.
However, the book shows its age in technology discussion. Practical guidance could be stronger. The academic tone may not suit all readers. And structural barriers and special circumstances receive insufficient attention.
The useful parts:
- Clear definition of true play
- Cognitive benefits extensively documented
- Social-emotional development connection
- Types of play illuminated
- “Educational” substitutes critiqued
- Developmental stages explained
- School problem examined
- Parent’s role clearly defined
The problematic parts:
- Dated technology discussion
- Repetitive content
- Limited practical guidance
- Academic tone throughout
- Balance calibration lacking
- Structural barriers underaddressed
- Alignment challenges not addressed
- Special circumstances not covered
The best approach: Read this book for the framework and conviction. Let it reshape how you think about play’s importance. Then supplement with more practical resources for implementation. Protect time for play in your child’s schedule—not as a reward or a break, but as the essential developmental activity it is. And resist the cultural pressure to fill every moment with “productive” activities.
The bottom line: The Power of Play asks a question our culture gets wrong: What should children be doing?
The answer isn’t more academics. It isn’t more enrichment. It isn’t more structured activities designed by adults to produce specific outcomes.
The answer is play.
Real play. Free play. Child-directed, intrinsically motivated, process-oriented, joyful play.
This isn’t indulgence. It isn’t wasted time. It isn’t something to squeeze in after the “important” stuff. Play is HOW children develop. It’s how they build the cognitive capacities, social skills, emotional regulation, and creativity that will serve them throughout life.
When we replace play with structured activities—even well-intentioned “educational” ones—we don’t help our children. We deprive them of the experience that actually builds what they need.
The irony is painful: in our desperation to give children every advantage, we eliminate the activity that confers the greatest advantage of all.
Your child wants to play. Their developmental system knows what it needs.
Trust that. Protect that. Make space for that.
Let them build towers that fall down. Let them create worlds that exist only in their imagination. Let them negotiate with friends over rules they invented. Let them fail at games that don’t matter so they learn to persist at challenges that do.
Let them play.
It’s not a luxury. It’s not a reward. It’s not a break from learning.
It’s the foundation of everything else.
Elkind gives you the evidence. The rest is up to you. Will you protect your child’s right to play—even when the culture pressures you to do otherwise?
Their development depends on it. 🎨🌳✨
Did The Power of Play change how you view your child’s schedule? What’s been hardest about protecting play time? How do you respond when your child “just wants to play”? Share your experience below!
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