A review from someone who thought their child was being difficult—and discovered their nervous system was experiencing the world completely differently
Something is wrong with your child.
You can feel it, even if you can’t name it. They’re not like other kids. They melt down over things that shouldn’t matter—the wrong socks, a scratchy tag, an unexpected noise. They crash into everything or refuse to move at all. They’re clumsy, anxious, picky, intense, or oddly oblivious to things other children notice immediately.
You’ve tried everything. Discipline doesn’t help. Reasoning doesn’t help. They’re not trying to be difficult—you can see that. But you can’t figure out what’s actually going on.
The pediatrician says they’re fine. The teachers say they’re “just sensitive” or “a little wild.” Friends and family suggest you’re overreacting. But you know your child. You know something is different. You just don’t have words for what it is.
Here’s what nobody has told you: your child may be experiencing the world through a nervous system that processes sensory information differently than most people’s.
The lights that seem normal to you might be painfully bright to them. The background noise you filter out might be overwhelming. The clothing that feels fine to you might feel like sandpaper on their skin. Or they might be desperately seeking the sensory input their brain craves but can’t get enough of.
This isn’t behavior. It’s neurology. And it has a name.
Carol Stock Kranowitz’s The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder has helped millions of parents finally understand what’s happening with their children. It explains Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) in accessible terms and provides practical strategies for helping children whose nervous systems process the world differently.
It’s the book that gives you words for what you’ve always sensed. Let’s find out if it delivers.
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What Is This Book? 🤔
The Out-of-Sync Child is the definitive parent guide to Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Carol Stock Kranowitz, a preschool teacher who spent 25 years working with young children, noticed that some children struggled in ways that didn’t fit standard explanations. Her collaboration with occupational therapists led to this groundbreaking book, now in its revised edition.
The format:
- Explanation of sensory processing and what can go wrong
- Detailed descriptions of each sensory system
- How to recognize SPD in your child
- The impact on daily life, learning, and development
- Practical strategies and activities
- Guidance for getting professional help
- Checklists and resources throughout
The core thesis:
Some children have difficulty processing sensory information—the input from their senses that tells them about their bodies and the world. This isn’t a behavioral problem, an emotional problem, or a parenting failure. It’s a neurological difference in how the brain receives, interprets, and responds to sensory input.
When sensory processing doesn’t work well, children may be:
- Over-responsive: Overwhelmed by sensory input others barely notice
- Under-responsive: Missing sensory information others easily detect
- Sensory-seeking: Craving intense sensory input they can’t get enough of
- Dyspraxic: Struggling to plan and execute motor movements
These differences affect everything—behavior, emotions, learning, social skills, daily routines, and family life.
The coverage:
- What sensory processing is and how it works
- The seven sensory systems (yes, seven—not just five)
- How SPD manifests in each system
- Over-responsivity, under-responsivity, and sensory seeking
- The impact on motor skills and coordination
- How SPD affects behavior and emotions
- Getting a diagnosis and finding help
- Activities and strategies for home
- Working with schools and therapists
- Living with and supporting an out-of-sync child
The key principles:
- SPD is real—a neurological difference, not bad behavior or bad parenting
- There are seven sensory systems, not five—including vestibular and proprioceptive
- Children can be over-responsive, under-responsive, or both—in different systems
- Sensory issues underlie many puzzling behaviors
- Occupational therapy can help—and so can informed parenting
- Understanding changes everything—for the child and the family
It’s the book that finally explains your child. 📖
The Good Stuff ✅
The Validation Is Profound
You’re not crazy. Your child is not broken:
The experience of SPD parents:
Before understanding SPD, parents often feel:
- Confused by their child’s reactions
- Blamed by others who think it’s a parenting problem
- Dismissed by professionals who say nothing is wrong
- Isolated because no one understands
- Guilty that they can’t figure out how to help
The gift of the book:
Kranowitz provides what many parents have never received: validation that what they’re seeing is real.
The relief:
“There’s a name for this. There’s research on this. Other children experience this. I’m not imagining it.”
The reframe:
Your child isn’t being difficult, dramatic, or defiant. Their nervous system is experiencing the world differently. Their reactions make sense when you understand what they’re actually perceiving.
The compassion shift:
When parents understand SPD, frustration transforms into compassion. The child who “overreacts” to haircuts isn’t being dramatic—they may genuinely experience pain from sensory input that feels normal to others.
The relief for children:
When parents understand, children feel understood. Finally, someone gets it. They’re not bad or weird. Their brain just works differently.
Profound validation for struggling families. 🎯
The Seven Senses Framework Is Eye-Opening
More than what you learned in school:
The familiar five:
- Touch (tactile): Feeling through skin
- Hearing (auditory): Processing sound
- Sight (visual): Processing what we see
- Taste (gustatory): What we taste
- Smell (olfactory): What we smell
The hidden two:
- Vestibular (movement and balance): Sense of movement, gravity, and balance from the inner ear. Tells us if we’re moving, how fast, in what direction, whether we’re right-side up.
- Proprioception (body awareness): Sense of where our body parts are in space, from receptors in muscles and joints. Tells us how much force to use, where our limbs are without looking.
The revelation:
Many SPD challenges involve these “hidden” senses that most people don’t know exist:
Vestibular issues:
- Fear of movement or heights
- Motion sickness
- Need for constant movement
- Difficulty with balance and coordination
- Disorientation in space
Proprioceptive issues:
- Clumsiness, bumping into things
- Using too much or too little force
- Difficulty with fine motor tasks
- Need to crash, push, pull, chew
- Poor body awareness
The connection:
Understanding these hidden senses explains behaviors that seemed inexplicable. The child who crashes into furniture may be seeking proprioceptive input their brain desperately needs.
Seven senses framework illuminating. ✨
The Three Patterns of SPD Are Clarifying
Over-responsive, under-responsive, seeking:
The complexity:
SPD isn’t one thing. Different children show different patterns—sometimes in the same child across different senses.
Sensory Over-Responsivity (SOR):
The nervous system responds too much to sensory input.
Signs:
- Overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, strong smells
- Bothered by clothing textures, tags, seams
- Picky eating based on textures
- Avoids touch, especially unexpected touch
- Distressed by haircuts, nail trimming, teeth brushing
- Meltdowns in overwhelming environments (stores, parties)
The experience:
Input that others filter out feels intense, uncomfortable, even painful. The world is too much.
Sensory Under-Responsivity (SUR):
The nervous system doesn’t respond enough to sensory input.
Signs:
- Doesn’t notice pain, temperature extremes, or injury
- Seems “tuned out” or in their own world
- Slow to respond when spoken to
- Doesn’t notice when face or hands are messy
- High pain tolerance
- Misses social cues
The experience:
Input that others easily detect doesn’t register. The world is muted, hard to read.
Sensory Seeking (SS):
The nervous system craves more sensory input than typical.
Signs:
- Constantly touching everything and everyone
- Chewing on objects (clothing, pencils, fingers)
- Loves spinning, swinging, crashing
- Makes loud noises, talks loudly
- Seeks intense flavors or smells
- Can’t sit still, always moving
The experience:
The nervous system is hungry for input it can’t get enough of. The child needs MORE to feel regulated.
The mix:
Children often show different patterns in different sensory systems. A child might be over-responsive to sound but under-responsive to proprioception. This complexity explains why SPD kids can seem contradictory.
Three patterns clarifying. 💪
The Impact on Daily Life Is Thoroughly Explored
How sensory issues affect everything:
The scope:
SPD doesn’t stay in its lane. It affects:
Morning routines:
- Getting dressed (clothing textures, tags, seams)
- Brushing teeth (gag reflex, taste, texture)
- Hair care (washing, brushing, cutting)
- Eating breakfast (textures, smells, the overwhelm of morning)
School:
- Sitting still (vestibular and proprioceptive needs)
- Concentrating (when the environment is overwhelming)
- Handwriting (motor planning, proprioception)
- Playground (social challenges, physical fears or recklessness)
- Lunch (cafeteria overwhelm, food textures)
Social situations:
- Misreading social cues
- Overwhelm at parties and gatherings
- Difficulty with physical play
- Being perceived as “weird” by peers
- Avoiding or invading others’ space
Emotional regulation:
- Meltdowns that seem disproportionate
- Anxiety in overwhelming situations
- Difficulty calming down once activated
- Big emotional responses to sensory triggers
Sleep:
- Difficulty settling (needs movement, can’t filter out sounds)
- Sensitivity to bedding textures
- Needs specific conditions to fall asleep
The connections:
Kranowitz helps parents see how sensory issues underlie problems they might have attributed to other causes. The “picky eater” may have oral sensory issues. The “defiant” child may be overwhelmed. The “clumsy” kid may have proprioceptive challenges.
Daily life impact thoroughly explored. 🌟
The Practical Strategies Are Actionable
What actually helps:
The “sensory diet” concept:
Just as children need a balanced nutritional diet, children with SPD need a balanced “sensory diet”—regular input that helps their nervous system stay regulated.
For over-responsive children:
Reduce sensory assault:
- Cut tags out of clothing
- Choose seamless socks
- Use dimmer lights
- Reduce background noise
- Provide quiet spaces for retreat
- Give warnings before transitions
- Let them control their sensory environment when possible
Provide calming input:
- Deep pressure (weighted blankets, firm hugs)
- Slow, rhythmic movement
- Soft, steady sounds
- Proprioceptive activities (carrying heavy things, pushing, pulling)
For under-responsive children:
Increase sensory input:
- Use brighter, more contrasting visuals
- Speak in animated, varying tones
- Provide more physical touch and movement
- Alert before transitions with physical and auditory cues
- Make the sensory world more vivid
For sensory-seeking children:
Provide appropriate sensory input:
- Scheduled movement breaks
- Chewy toys or crunchy foods
- Fidget tools
- Opportunities to crash, push, jump
- Heavy work activities
- Proprioceptive input throughout the day
The activities:
Kranowitz includes numerous specific activities:
- “Steamroller” (rolling over the child with an exercise ball)
- “Sandwich” (pressing between cushions)
- Wheelbarrow walking
- Wall pushups
- Jumping on trampolines
- Swinging in various positions
- Playing with various textures
Practical, actionable strategies. 🛡️
The Professional Help Guidance Is Valuable
When and how to get support:
The professional:
Occupational therapists (OTs) trained in sensory integration are the primary professionals for SPD.
What OT provides:
- Comprehensive sensory evaluation
- Individualized treatment plan
- Sensory integration therapy
- Home program recommendations
- School consultation
Finding help:
Kranowitz provides guidance on:
- How to find a qualified OT
- What to look for in an evaluation
- Questions to ask therapists
- What treatment typically involves
- How to work with the OT on home strategies
The evaluation:
What a sensory evaluation includes and what you can expect to learn.
Insurance and access:
Realistic discussion of challenges in accessing services.
The school angle:
How to work with schools, request evaluations, and advocate for accommodations.
Professional help guidance comprehensive. 📝
The Checklists Are Useful Tools
Recognizing SPD in your child:
The format:
Throughout the book, Kranowitz provides checklists for identifying sensory issues in each system.
The value:
Parents can systematically review symptoms and patterns, identifying which areas might be affected.
The specificity:
Separate checklists for:
- Tactile (touch) issues
- Vestibular (movement) issues
- Proprioceptive (body awareness) issues
- Auditory issues
- Visual issues
- Oral (taste/texture) issues
- Olfactory (smell) issues
The nuance:
Within each system, separate items for over-responsivity, under-responsivity, and seeking behaviors.
The preparation:
Checklists help parents articulate concerns to professionals. “I’ve noticed these specific things” is more useful than “something seems wrong.”
The limitation:
Checklists aren’t diagnostic. But they’re helpful for recognizing patterns and knowing when to seek evaluation.
Useful checklists throughout. 🧠
The Writing Is Accessible
Complex neurology made understandable:
The challenge:
Sensory processing involves complex neurology. Explaining it to parents requires making technical information accessible.
The success:
Kranowitz writes clearly, using:
- Plain language
- Helpful analogies
- Real-life examples
- Stories of actual children
- Clear organization
- Summary sections
The analogies:
She compares sensory processing to a traffic system, explaining how information flows and what happens when there’s a “traffic jam” or “road closure.”
The examples:
Vivid descriptions of children with various SPD patterns help parents recognize what they’re seeing.
The accessibility:
You don’t need a medical or scientific background to understand this book. It’s written for parents.
Accessible writing throughout. 💬
The Not-So-Good Stuff 😬
SPD Is Not an Official Diagnosis
The controversial status:
The issue:
Sensory Processing Disorder is not included in the DSM-5 (the diagnostic manual for mental health conditions). It’s not officially recognized as a standalone diagnosis by all medical organizations.
The implications:
- Some professionals don’t believe SPD exists as a distinct condition
- Insurance may not cover treatment for SPD specifically
- Schools may not recognize it for services
- Research funding has been limited
The debate:
Some argue SPD is real but often occurs alongside other conditions (autism, ADHD). Others argue it’s a distinct condition that deserves separate recognition. Still others are skeptical.
The practical reality:
Regardless of diagnostic debates, many children clearly have sensory processing difficulties. Occupational therapists treat these issues effectively whether or not they’re officially “SPD.”
The book’s position:
Kranowitz advocates strongly for SPD as a real, distinct condition. This may be appropriate advocacy, but readers should know the professional debates exist.
Diagnostic controversy not fully addressed. 😬
Overlap with Other Conditions
Is it SPD or something else?
The comorbidity:
Sensory processing issues frequently occur alongside:
- Autism Spectrum Disorder
- ADHD
- Anxiety disorders
- Developmental coordination disorder
- Learning disabilities
- Gifted/twice-exceptional profiles
The question:
Is SPD a separate condition, or a feature of these other conditions?
The complexity:
A child might have sensory issues AND autism, sensory issues AND ADHD, or sensory issues as part of a broader developmental profile.
The gap:
The book could more thoroughly address how to differentiate SPD from other conditions—or how to understand when they co-occur.
The risk:
Parents might focus on SPD when another condition (like autism) is actually the primary issue—or miss SPD because they’ve only been told about another diagnosis.
The recommendation:
Comprehensive evaluation by qualified professionals is essential for sorting out what’s what.
Overlap with other conditions underexplored. 😬
Can Feel Overwhelming
So much information:
The scope:
The book covers seven sensory systems, multiple patterns within each, impacts on every area of life, and numerous strategies. It’s comprehensive.
The effect:
Parents already stressed may feel overwhelmed. “My child has problems in ALL of these areas. How do I address everything?”
The paralysis:
With so much to consider, it’s hard to know where to start.
The missing:
Clearer guidance on prioritizing—what to address first, how to implement gradually, when “good enough” is okay.
The solution:
Work with an OT who can help prioritize and create a manageable plan. Don’t try to implement everything at once.
Can feel overwhelming. 😬
Less Guidance on Emotional/Behavioral Aspects
Sensory focus leaves gaps:
The emphasis:
The book focuses primarily on sensory processing itself—the neurology, the systems, the patterns.
The gap:
Less attention to:
- The emotional experience of having SPD
- The anxiety that often accompanies sensory challenges
- Behavioral strategies beyond sensory interventions
- The parent-child relationship dynamics
- Emotional regulation beyond sensory regulation
The complement:
Families may need additional resources focused on emotional development, anxiety management, and parenting strategies beyond sensory-specific approaches.
The integration:
SPD doesn’t exist in isolation. It affects and is affected by emotional life, family dynamics, and psychological wellbeing.
Emotional/behavioral aspects less addressed. 😬
Dated in Some Respects
First published in 1998:
The issue:
While revised, the book’s original publication was over 25 years ago. Some elements feel dated.
The research:
Neuroscience has advanced significantly. Some explanations may be simplified or reflect older understanding.
The resources:
Recommended resources, organizations, and websites may have changed.
The context:
The cultural and educational context of parenting has evolved.
The core:
The fundamental understanding of sensory processing and practical strategies remains sound. But readers should be aware they’re reading a book with decades of history.
Some dated elements. 🚩
Professional Access Varies
Not everyone can get help:
The recommendation:
Kranowitz emphasizes working with occupational therapists trained in sensory integration.
The reality:
- OTs with sensory integration training aren’t available everywhere
- Private OT is expensive
- Insurance coverage is limited
- School-based OT has limited scope
- Waitlists can be months long
The gap:
More guidance on what to do when professional help isn’t accessible would strengthen the book.
The frustration:
Parents may finally understand what’s happening but be unable to access the recommended help.
Professional access varies. 😬
Less Focus on Older Children and Teens
Young child emphasis:
The focus:
The book primarily addresses preschool and early elementary-aged children.
The gap:
Less guidance for:
- Older elementary children
- Middle schoolers
- Teenagers
- Adults with SPD
The reality:
Sensory processing differences don’t disappear. Older children and teens need age-appropriate understanding and strategies.
The resources:
Other books exist for older populations, but this book doesn’t fully address them.
Less focus on older children. 📉
Can Lead to Over-Identification
Seeing SPD everywhere:
The risk:
After reading about SPD, some parents may see sensory issues in every behavior—pathologizing normal childhood variation.
The spectrum:
Everyone has sensory preferences. Not every child who dislikes tags or loves spinning has SPD. The question is whether sensory differences significantly impact functioning.
The line:
SPD is about dysfunction—sensory differences that significantly impair daily life, development, or wellbeing.
The balance:
The book could more clearly help parents differentiate between normal sensory variation and clinically significant SPD.
Can lead to over-identification. 📉
Who Is This For? 🎯
Perfect if you:
- Have a child who seems to react differently to sensory experiences
- Feel like something is “off” but can’t name it
- Have tried behavioral approaches that don’t seem to work
- Want to understand WHY your child reacts the way they do
- Need information to share with professionals or schools
- Want practical strategies for sensory challenges
- Suspect your child might have SPD
- Have a child diagnosed with SPD and want comprehensive understanding
Not ideal if you:
- Are looking for information about typical sensory development only
- Want focus on emotional or behavioral issues beyond sensory
- Have an older teen or adult with sensory issues
- Want the most current neuroscience research
- Need guidance on differentiating SPD from autism, ADHD, etc.
- Don’t have access to professional support and need more self-help guidance
- Want a brief overview rather than comprehensive coverage
Alternatives Worth Considering 🔄
The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun by Carol Stock Kranowitz: Companion activity book with hundreds of sensory activities. Essential practical supplement to this book. 🏆
Raising a Sensory Smart Child by Lindsey Biel and Nancy Peske: Another comprehensive SPD guide with excellent practical strategies. Good alternative or complement.
Sensational Kids by Lucy Jane Miller: Written by a leading SPD researcher. More focus on research and clinical understanding.
The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine N. Aron: Focuses on sensory sensitivity as a temperament trait. Different framework, some overlap.
Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight by Sharon Heller: Focus on sensory defensiveness/over-responsivity specifically.
No Longer A SECRET by Doreit Bialer and Lucy Jane Miller: Activity guide using the SECRET framework for sensory strategies.
Building Bridges through Sensory Integration by Ellen Yack, Paula Aquilla, and Shirley Sutton: Practical strategies with strong clinical foundation.
The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson: Not SPD-specific but helpful for understanding brain development and parenting through challenges. 📚
The Final Verdict 🏅
The Out-of-Sync Child offers something priceless: understanding. For parents who have known something was different about their child but couldn’t name it, this book provides words, framework, and validation.
The seven senses framework reveals sensory systems most people don’t know exist—and explains puzzling behaviors that suddenly make sense. The three patterns (over-responsive, under-responsive, seeking) help parents understand their specific child’s profile. The thorough exploration of daily life impact shows how sensory issues affect everything. And the practical strategies provide a starting point for actually helping.
For families living with sensory processing challenges, this book is foundational. It’s the first step toward understanding, getting help, and making life better for out-of-sync children.
However, the book has limitations. SPD’s diagnostic status remains controversial. Overlap with other conditions needs more exploration. The information can feel overwhelming. Emotional aspects receive less attention. And access to professional help isn’t equal.
The useful parts:
- Profound validation for struggling families
- Seven senses framework illuminating
- Three patterns (over/under/seeking) clarifying
- Daily life impact thoroughly explored
- Practical, actionable strategies
- Professional help guidance comprehensive
- Useful checklists throughout
- Accessible writing
The problematic parts:
- Diagnostic controversy not fully addressed
- Overlap with other conditions underexplored
- Can feel overwhelming
- Emotional/behavioral aspects less addressed
- Some dated elements
- Professional access varies
- Less focus on older children
- Can lead to over-identification
The best approach: Read this book as your foundation for understanding sensory processing. Use the checklists to identify your child’s specific patterns. Seek evaluation from a qualified occupational therapist. Work with professionals to prioritize interventions. Implement strategies gradually—don’t try to do everything at once. And complement this book with resources on emotional development and parenting strategies.
The bottom line: The Out-of-Sync Child answers a question that torments many parents: Why is my child like this?
Why do they melt down over socks?
Why do they cover their ears at birthday parties?
Why can’t they sit still for five seconds?
Why don’t they notice when they’re hurt?
Why do they crash into everything?
Why is everything so hard?
The answer isn’t bad behavior. It isn’t bad parenting. It isn’t manipulation or defiance or drama.
It’s neurology.
Your child’s nervous system processes sensory information differently. The world they experience isn’t the same world you experience. What feels normal to you might feel overwhelming—or imperceptible—to them.
When you understand this, everything changes.
The frustration transforms into compassion. The confusion transforms into clarity. The helplessness transforms into action. You stop trying to change behavior that isn’t behavioral. You start addressing the underlying sensory needs.
Your child isn’t out of sync with reality. They’re out of sync with the way most nervous systems process the world. And once you understand their unique wiring, you can help them—not by demanding they be different, but by meeting them where they are.
Kranowitz gives you the understanding. The understanding gives you compassion. The compassion gives you strategies. And the strategies give your child something they desperately need: a parent who gets it.
Your child is not broken. They’re wired differently. And different, with understanding and support, can become a strength.
That’s the gift this book offers: not just information, but hope. Not just explanation, but a path forward.
Your out-of-sync child is waiting for someone to understand them.
Now you can. 🌈💙✨
Did The Out-of-Sync Child help you finally understand your child? What sensory patterns did you recognize? What strategies have made the biggest difference? Share your experience below!
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